Yay!

Endless Glow Tan Tech of the week!!!!  Check it out, and book an appointment at jessicahintz.schedulething.com. 

Hey You!!!

Are you bored?  Looking to earn extra money?  Wondering how to spend your time during these summer months (or all year)?  Become an endless glow tan tech!!!  It's quick and easy to get certified and you will be making money in no time!!  Bonus points if you live in Seattle - there is hardly any competition here!  Except the dreaded tanning salons and their booths!  However, if you live anywhere and are interested in joining me and my team let me know!  Endless Glow is the best sunless tanning products on the market.  I use them myself and love the constant glow they give me.  They are a safe alternative to tanning, and it's customized for each individual.  I honestly love being a part of this company and making people look and feel beautiful.  I would love to have you on my team.  Message me for more information!

You're Gonna What??!!!

So, as you can see in my previous posts, I am not 100% sold on the job I am doing. Part of me has complained I don't want to work at all. I have searched and gone back to school and tried to figure out what I want to do with my life. As I've gotten older, I have a clearer picture of what I want to do. It's honestly what I thought I wanted to do when I went to school the first time, but I got scared. I want to be a nurse. I want to be able to work here in the US or have opportunities to serve overseas. I want to be able to give back and feel like I am helping people. And, I love medical stuff. I watch those True stories of Life in the ER marathons and get sad when it starts over again. I (finally) think I figured out what I want to do! So, the next step... back to school I go! I have a lot of little things to figure out in the meantime, so any prayers would be appreciated. I still may change my mind as I am trying to trust God to show me if this is the right step, but I think as things fall into place, this will become apparent. Oh man, do I really want to do school again? I promised myself I wouldn't have to go back! :) I think I will enjoy this though, so it won't be like accounting classes that make me want to poke my eye out! Here's to the next step and figuring it all out! :) Wish me luck!

Endless Glow Tan by me - Up and Running

First and foremost thank you to all of you who have booked a tan with me! I love making people feel beautiful and a healthy glow makes everyone's day better! :) I am currently still running my $20 special, so book now to be ready for summer! I look forward to making you look an feel beautiful! Second - this starting a new business is a little tough, but luckily I have great mentors helping me along the way. I think a big problem here in Seattle is people are not wearing less clothing yet. Currently, I am sitting in my grey uggs and leggings with my heater on. :) No one wants to tan if they are not going to get to show it off. I do have a couple appointments next week for pre-vacation. And then one the following week. I knew this would be tough but I think having a full time job limits the time I can put into this. But I love it! :) I am going to throw a party in a few weeks b/c I think as June approaches people will want to tan (even though we don't get consistent sun here until July)! Just a quick update on the biz!

Endless Glow Tanning by Me!

It's official!  I am a certified spray tan tech!  Tell one tell all (who live in the Seattle area).  I cannot tell you how excited I am about this.  I loved doing the tans today and watching my friend's reactions to seeing how they looked after.  (And getting the texts later that say - my boyfriend was like "Damn girl!  You look hot!  Like you just got back from Mexico!) Here are some pics and leave a comment if you are interested in getting tan!  :)  I am running a special right now so contact me for more info!

Life is Hard

I watch way too much TV.  That is a given.  I think a lot of it has to do with being an only child growing up with a single mom.  I've always had friends and I grew up playing with kids and having lots of friends.  However, when I had to be alone, TV was the one to keep me company.  (Side note - I always just thought I was part of the Full House clan - it's probably why I still LOVE the Olsen twins to this day.)  Anyways, the point is I am not being critical of how much TV I watch, but that I watch it and really seek to understand these people as if they are my friends.  I think it is why I love reality TV.

I started watching Teen Mom years ago, when it started.  They just did an update special on all the girls.  And, it was hard to watch.  I wanted so badly to see change in these girls.  I wanted them to grow and be stronger than the people I watched when the show went off the air.  But it was the same old shit.  Farrah is still fighting with her mom and dad.  But, then is extremely codependent as she invites them to be a huge part of her life only to fight with them more.  Caitlynn and Tyler are still not married, but are living together and still dating.  Amber has made the most change, but it took a year and a half in prison to do so, and only time will tell if she can stay off drugs and be a good mom to her daughter.

My point is to not judge these girls at all.  What it made me think is, what if my life was on TV?  Would people see a different person from who I was 5 years ago?  Or would I just be an older shell of myself?  Change is great in theory and in the form of a resolution.  But is it really possible?  Yes.  I believe it is, but that does not take away the fact that it is hard.   Very hard.  And, this show made me realize it.  I am just as disappointed in myself for not being able to make changes in my life overnight, but why?  It's not that easy.  Does that mean you stop trying?  Of course not.  I need to keep going and keep working on bettering myself, but still love and forgive myself when it doesn't happen overnight.  I read on instagram a post similar to this:

The changes I want to make in myself are not just physical.  I struggle to see the good in myself in general.  I know I'm funny.  Some days I think I look pretty, but I just want to believe I am an amazing human being and people like me and want to know because of who I am, not because of how I look.  For a lot of years, I was skinny and pretty (blonde/big boobs).  I lived that persona.  Mostly, with guys.  I harbored a lot of self worth in looking good.  And, I think that is where some of my weight gain came from.  I was tired of being thought of as a piece of meat.  Although, I know I could just simply stop showing off my cleavage, and stop dressing to show off my curves, it was more than that.  It was almost a rebellion to this lifestyle I have lived where I am used to being checked out by guys.  I am learning that I need to deal with those issues and that desire to get away from that, is keeping me from truly being happy and wanting to be healthy.  I want to love myself.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be happy.  And I'm working on figuring out how...

Update

First and foremost - thank you to everyone who reached out to me about my last post.  I am so blessed to have such amazing people around me, and I am so grateful for you all!  Anna - your blog inspires me often.  I love that you are real and I thank you for showing me it's okay to speak your truth even when it's not pretty.  Rachel - thanks for your message and I know you can relate.  Having people who understand where you are coming from makes me feel less alone.  And, you are my hope that online dating is not in vain! :) Natalie - thank you for always being there for me - even when you have a lot going on in your world as well!  You are a great friend, and I thank you for being you! :)  Annie - I have never felt so lucky to call someone my friend as I do with you!  You say you feel like you are not always kind, but I have never met anyone who is able to be so nice and see the best in everyone around them.  For a girl who decides whether or not I like someone quickly, this is a trait I admire and envy.  Thank you for being my friend through all these years - I am so lucky to have you!  (Sidenote - super excited about Lady A next month!)

I am doing much better, and have done a lot of soul searching this week.  I am reading a new book about Ruth (from the bible - if you don't know her story - check it out, she's pretty amazing).  This book talks about all the suffering that happened in her life and her mother's life, and it fits in with what I am dealing with (actually, it puts things in perspective as well - this women was barren and then her husband died, leaving her basically alone in a patriarchal society - so far that's not my life! :)  I also learned how important it is to share.  When I spoke to a couple coworkers and they said they understood it was a weight lifted off my shoulders.  Then messages poured in again saying - you aren't alone!  Sometimes, that's all it takes to remember - wait I'm not alone!  I also started to think of ways I can get out of the house, make some new friends, and in general just keep myself around people instead of bottled up inside!

The best part is that I talked to my mom about this.  I try to hide a lot of the "bad stuff" from my mom.  I don't know why I do that, but I think it is from habit.  I didn't do that this time and I am glad I got to talk to her.  I am so grateful for my mother.  I did not appreciate her as I should have during my teenage years, but I am so glad we are close now.  Plus, she's a blast - so chatting with her almost always makes things better! :)
All this to say - thank you!  My family, my friend's, fellow bloggers, you all rock and I am so thankful for you!