Most who read this may not care... but 3 weeks is a long time for me to not update my blog. I try not to go longer than a week. I read someone's blog who said it's hard to update if you don't have kids, aren't traveling and really don't have much to talk about. That is rarely me... the not having something to talk about part.
Honestly... I've been going through a tough time. Not b/c of me, but a friend of mine is making some choices I don't agree with. No big deal, right? Get over it, Jess. But, we work together and her choices were affecting me and the other employees. To be kind and fair to my friend I am not going to air her dirty laundry on my blog... that wouldn't be very nice. Anyways, shit hit the fan on Friday and people found out about the situation.
Honestly, though, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't like secrets and lies. Who does? I felt like this big secret was a huge rift between all of us at work. It was awful! And, not that I talk about the situation, but I'm not forced to lie to anyone anymore. And keeping secrets is basically lying to people.
And it's over. She may still be doing her thing, but it doesn't affect me anymore. I don't agree with it, but I'm still going to be her friend. When people make choices I don't understand, I try to remind myself, I probably don't know the whole story. I love my friends, and until you hurt me, I will always stand by your side. Even if you hurt me, that is what forgiveness is for. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pushover. I may not forget what happened, but I can move past it if you ask me. And, I think that is important. I am still learning about friendship and what I am looking for in my close friends. I try really hard to surround myself with good people. I find myself being a lot happier when those around me are positive people, who want to live good, happy lives. It sounds silly, but I've met a lot of people who thrive on drama. But, high school is over, and drama is not cool anymore.
All that to say, I'm back. I even felt like I couldn't really talk about life on here in case she read it. This whole secret has consumed me for the last few weeks because it was wrecking so many things at work. But, I don't care anymore. The secret's out. It's not my secret and if she reads this that's okay. My blog isn't private because this is me. I make no apologies for who I am. (Unless, I am doing something bad, or really screwing up and need to apologize.) This is my outlet, my online journal and whoever reads it, makes that choice. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Also, if you have a private blog... I am not against them. I don't have kids to protect... it's just me. I may one day feel like I should have a private blog, but for now, there's nothing to worry about. (Although, my mom would probably disagree. :) Okay, done rambling... sorry to bore those who read this... just had to get this out.
