What is it about seeing a picture of your ex that brings back all your insecurities? Does that happen to anyone else, or is this another reason I am in therapy? :) I can be so confident in myself, and know that I don't belong with this person and he was so wrong for me in so many ways, but I always go back to, "Why didn't he want me? What's wrong with me? Why am I still all by myself?" I know it is partly by choice, and it's not even about just being single. What is it about that one guy you thought you would be with forever, and seeing them reminds you that once again life is just not like you thought it would be.
Really, I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. I'm just putting it out there. I am happy with so many things, I have to stop letting the little things get me down like this! I layed out in the sun today, got my hair cut, had a good workout and ran the whole day on my schedule. If I had a husband and family, I would have had to plan time to do all those things, instead of just doing them on a whim. And not that I would at all mind making the transition to that, it is just that right now, it's not where I am and I have to be content with that!
So, that's all for now... Hope I didn't bring anyone down who reads this. I'm running a 5k tomorrow. Hopefully, those endorphins will put life all back in perspective. That, and getting to hang out with one of my best friends ever! (She lives an hour away, so it's always great when I get to see her!) Yay for good friends... they keep me going when I'm feeling down. :)
lyla is eight
3 weeks ago