Monday, December 28, 2009

The End of the Beginning

I heard that phrase on Laguna Beach years ago and thought it applied. I broke up with my boyfriend today. I had to practically beg him to leave, even though two weeks ago I asked him to move out. I told him yesterday he had until the 1st and he texted me today to say he would have his stuff out by the time I get home today. Good, I thought, makes the next few days less awkward, right? Wrong... apparently, that was just a test. He got all mad and was like, I have no where to go! I was like, then you should not have pushed up the deadline, I was giving you until Friday... you made it today. The problem is he has a drinking problem and I am literally scared of him. I cannot live with an alcoholic who I am afraid of... and I should not have to! I am starting counseling in January, and I am taking a year off from boys. (Well, a year by choice... who knows what 2011 may bring! I may just end up single forever.) So, get ready for some really personal stuff. I have never felt like I needed a boyfriend, but I really WANT to get married, so it is hard to say I am not looking. I have tended to just let things happen in my quest for my future husband, instead of saying no, you are not right for me. Honestly, reading some blogs and how some people talked about their significant others made me realize I don't even have those feelings for my boyfriend! I want to love my husband, not tolerate him! Anyways.... here's my cheers to the new year and a year without men... and a lifetime without boys! (As men will be the only eligable guys for me, not boys!)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Prayers please!

My manager at work is really sick. She has bronchitis, which is more serious for her b/c she has scaring on her lungs... she went to the hospital on Friday. I am worried for her and her health, but I am also stressed b/c when she is gone my job is twice as hard. I feel soooo selfish for even thinking like this. I should just worry about her and her getting better, but I am also scared the work I have to get done is not going to get done! I love my job and don't want to let it suffer at all by pulling double duty. So, I end up working till 6:30 every night... not working out, getting stressed beyond belief, etc. Anyways, I just wanted to vent. I know the people at my work really pull together when we need extra help, so I am sure tomorrow will be much less stressful than I think it will be. My mom told me to repeat the serenity prayer. Maybe I will make it my mantra tomorrow.... my calming force for when I am near panic attack. :) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Oh, and for anyone who does not know what I do, I am the accounting supervisor/assistant office manager at a lawfirm. December is huge for year end billing and collections and it's pretty much all on my shoulders to bring in the dough before year's end. But, with the office manager out... I have to fill that role as well and we just hired/are hiring 3 new people... which means we need new computers, training, etc. There is just a lot to be done. I know God does not give you more than you can handle, and I thank him for that. I just need to believe it now... :)

Welcome... welcome... one and all!

Welcome to my blog! I have been reading quite a few blogs lately, and decided to start my own. I don't have a husband or kids yet, so this will be a blog about my life, funny stories, random thoughts, etc. I don't know if anyone will ever read this but either way, it will be my way to get out my thoughts, feelings, and all that good stuff! I live with my boyfriend here in Seattle, and I just love him... I hope he knows how amazing he really is. Here is a pic of us, then that's the end of all the mushy stuff. :)