Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

Father's day used to not even be a holiday in my family. Well, I guess we would go to my grandparents house and celebrate my Grandpa, but my mom and her dad are not super close. He's kind of hard to be close to. Don't get me wrong, I love him a lot and he's a great guy. He tried really hard to be a "fill in" after my dad left. But, we are a pretty Christian family. We are more conservative, my parents don't really swear or drink and that is not him at all. He is an atheist and sees no point in religion. Not having that in common is kind of a big deal. He just doesn't "get" us sometimes. Which is fine. I love him and am so thankful for him. I just never really considered him a father figure.

My dad left when I was two. I remember him calling one time and he said, tell your mom it's "Tom". I don't even know if he considers himself my dad. Kind of crazy to think, but it happens. I see my friend's babies and have this emmense love for them I could not imagine just pretending they don't exist-and they aren't even my kids!!! I used to cry myself to sleep praying God would send my dad back. Begging him. After awhile, I knew it was a worthless cause and I kind of gave up. I gave up that God would answer this prayer, or that the answer was no.

My mom didn't date much when I was growing up. She did meet this guy and dated him when I was about 11. It was a horrible relationship. Very disfunctional. I will not go into it in honor of my mom, but it is part of the reason we've both needed some counseling. Luckily, my mom went to a counseling retreat in Colorado Springs when I was 12 years old. (My aunt and cousins lived out there and I stayed with them.) While walking through the airport my mom told me she met someone... oh man, here we go again, I thought. But I was wrong.

Less than a year later, they were married and we uprooted from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Meridian, Idaho. The first couple years were hard to say the least. Learning to live with a guy, share my mom, make new friends, be 13-15 in general, ugh, tough years! But, we made it through. I am now blessed with the most amazing father. God did answer my prayer. A little later than I expected, but with a better father than I even asked for. Steve paid for my college, calls me all the time to see how I am doing, gives me advice, and loves me unconditionally.

I can't express how lucky I am. I am so glad I know what to look for in a husband/father now. I didn't have that model growing up. I want my kids to have a dad from birth. I hope to find someone who loves on the same level as Steve does. Ask anyone who knows him and they will tell you how great he is. He really just cares for other people. I am so grateful he is my dad.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Sick Pack

So, it's been a long time since I've been really sick. I missed 4 days of work! Ahh, I can't even believe it. And all for a stupid cold. But this was a knock me on my ass cold. Oh, and of course it's finals week! So, here I am blogging, when I should be studying, but I am taking a break! :)

This is the first season I watched the Bachelorette (I rarely watch these as I feel they are kind of gross. The same girl or guy making out with numerous guys/girls in the same night, possibly sleeping together, all vying for her/his attention. I just don't like it.) But, I caved when I heard about this Bentley character. Oh man... he was a jerk and she totally fell for it. Gross. I really like JP. If he doesn't get picked I want to apply and then he can be the new bachelor and pick me. And only kiss me. Hahaha... right. These are the dumb things I think about when I am home sick.

Alright, back to studying. I have a full weekend of tests, studying and homework, but by Monday at noon I am done! Yay. If my cold goes away by then, too, I'll be very happy.