So, I just started dating this guy and all was going well until he said something last night that is still on my mind. I will talk to him about it later, but for now I am just gonna put it all out there. In context, we were having an honest conversation of fears of a relationship, if we like each other and want to continue dating, all that fun stuff. He said one of his fears about me was that I grew up in Idaho and he had met a lot of people from there who were missing some important things. When I asked what they were missing his reply was ethics and morals. WHAT??!!??
Okay, I'll admit I wasn't always a good girl. I went to church all my life, but junior and senior year I explored the not so "Christian" world of drinking and parties. Did it corrupt me? No. Do I lack morals and ethical values? Absolutely not! And, no one I still know and love who lives there is like this at all. I feel like he made a very gross generalization, and I am honestly quite offended by it. First of all, now I feel like I have to prove I'm different, and I shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. I just want to be who I am. Second of all, I am the first to admit I ran from Idaho and tried to leave a lot of pain behind when I did. But a lot of it was teenage stuff - fighting with my mom, being "bored" b/c there was "nothing to do in Idaho" (I've since learned that is so NOT true!), and in general just wanting to be in a bigger city. The 19 year old version of myself wanted to get out and explore, but not because I was morally void, but because I wanted to see what else was out there.
My family still lives there and so do some of my favorite people ever. I honestly want to find someone who would be open to moving back there one day so I could be close to my family again. I don't think I would ever judge someone because of where they came from. I may make assumptions, but I try to give people a chance to show me who they are before I decide, they are where they came from. Am I crazy to be bothered by this? Are my "momma-bird" instincts coming up because Idaho is like that little sibling only you are allowed to make fun of but if anyone else does you will kick their ass? :) That may more of it than anything, but I don't know. It just bugs me... and I wish he wouldn't have said it...
lyla is eight
3 weeks ago