Day 3

A picture of the cast of your favorite tv show. Friends... I love this show. I have all ten seasons and watch them over and over again. I love it... I'm watching it now :)

Day 2

The Person I've Been Closest to the Longest... well for me people. I had to choose two people because I am close to both of them in different ways. My mom. She is my best friend and the best mom you could ever ask for. She's always there for me and would to anything for me! I tell her almost everything and trust her advice in almost every situation. She is almost always right. :) She always wants the best for me and I am so blessed she is my mom and my best friend! But we were not always close!! It took a trip to Europe and some very needed growing up on my part to appreciate how great she is! So, we have only been "close" for about 7 years. This is Shakira (and me). We met 4 years ago at a hair salon that we both worked at. I think God knew we were supposed to be friends! I know that's not that long ago, but when you move away in middle school, the friends you made in elementary school don't stay your friends. And then you go to college and your friends from middle and high school don't stay your close friends. And then you graduate from college and your friends leave or get married and you are not close to the same friends you went to school with. I don't know if this happened to anyone else, but all this moving to different states and huge milestones that take your friends to different parts of the country has really made it difficult to get and stay close to people. And, while I have had many friends longer than 4 years, she is the one I am still closest to. She understands me, loves me, and will always have my back and I am the same way with her. There is nothing she doesn't know about me and and that's why she's my closest friend. I was terrified when she moved an hour away that we wouldn't stay friends but that was over 2 years ago and we are still going strong. Pretty sure our friendship will last forever!

Me and 15 Facts

15 Facts 1) I am really picky. Boys, food, clothes you name it! I am picky. I like what I like, and don't like what I don't like. At least I'm consistent though. :) 2) I don't like to do things I may not be good at. If I don't know I will succeed, I often don't want to try something. For example: going back to school... I am scared I will fail that's why I put it off for two years!! 3) I love reality tv. I am not going to deny it... I love it. 4) I love Taylor Swift. She is beautiful inside and out and I love that I have been a fan since she was fifteen and sang "Tim McGraw" I strive to be as kind to others as she is. 5) I had lasik eye surgery when I was 23 and loved everything about it. I was legally blind before I had this surgery. 6) Some days I miss my glasses. 7) I love blogging and the people I have "met" and reconnected with through it. I love the honesty about it and I love the vulnerability about it. 8) I wish I could dance. I love watching people dance. In high school I loved going to the cheerleader and dance competitions because it was so fun to watch and I secretly wished I could be a part of it. 9) I had two foot surgeries growing up and we were poor, so I wasn't able to take more than one year of dance or gymnastics. 10) I have a hard time saying the word "vague" even though I love vocabulary and love using different words than the usual (example: I call a line a queue). I try to blame it on being raised in Wisconsin, but my mom can say "vague" fine... so I don't know. 11) I am so glad my mom got remarried when I was 13, so I was able to have a father figure from that point on. 12) My real dad left when I was 2 and I've only seen him once since then. I try not to think about it because when I do, I wonder how can you just leave your child and never talk to them again. (He has 3 other kids he did the same thing to.) 13) I have a crush on Mark Ballas. My friend Caleb said I was "barking up the wrong tree," but I love him! He's so cute on DWTS. His smile, his dancing, he's just so cute! Each season I like him more and more, but the epitome was him and Shawn Johnson dancing... she's my all time favorite champ in both DWTS and gymnastics. 14) I spent six months in Europe with my cousin, Erin and it was one of the most amazing times of my life! 15) I love my iPhone... it took me awhile to get on board, but now I don't know how I lived without one!!!

I Want to Play Too!!!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Health Issues

So... I don't know why my 27 year old body has decided to start acting like a 70 year old, but it has. I had my whole gall bladder incident back in November. Then, I kept having pain in my side (where my gall bladder is). I have literally been in pain since I had the procedure in November... I kept thinking, soon it will go away. In the last couple months my throat and ears have been hurting non stop and I have been EXHAUSTED. Thank God I don't have kids or a hubby right now or they would have been so neglected. I was so tired some days I wanted to cry!

I went to the doctor and do you know what she told me? That my nerves feel pain longer than other people's and some people are just more tired than others. Well, the second part may be true, but come on...getting a good 8-9 hours of sleep and barely being able to keep my eyes open all day? That can't be normal. And the nerves thing... well I am sorry, that is just the most asinine thing I have EVER heard!

So, I got my thyroid tested (I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 19). Turns out my levels were off, which explained some tiredness. I was finally scheduled for an ultrasound on March 3 and the results were, "Nothing! There is nothing in your side that should be causing pain." Well, then why does it hurt all the time?

I found a new doctor as soon as crazy doc said I had overactive nerves, and finally saw the new doc this past Monday. I was also working with an endocrinologist and figured out I was taking my medicine wrong. (Apparently, you can't take any sort of Antacid meds at the same time as thyroid meds because it does not allow your body to absorb the thyroid meds.) I had been taking these drugs simultaneously for the last 6 months! Ahhh! I was sabotaging myself and didn't even know it!

So, the new doc was AMAZING. We talked about my thyroid meds and she let me start taking it correctly and not have to up my dosage... I don't want to be on more meds than I need to. (You will see why in a sec.) I talked to her about my ongoing earaches and sore throat (Allergies, I thought, but I take Zyrtec every day!) She said there was fluid in my ears and my throat looked a bit irritated. She said it was probably because of my acid reflux (which I had been trying to treat unsuccessfully with OTC meds.) She prescribed a one time pill I take now in the evening (so it does not coincide with my thyroid meds). My OTC meds had to be taken twice a day and were not working that well, hense the sore throat! Let me tell you this pill is a dream! No sore throat, no waking up in the middle of the night with a burning throat as I had been; it's amazing! So now, I wake up everyday at 4 am and take my thyroid meds to make sure NOTHING interferes with it. Before dinner I take my antacid. I also take Zyrtec for my allergies before bed.

Back to my appointment. :) So, my side pain. I laid down on the exam table and she asked where it hurt. I pointed, she pushed and said... well, that's not your gall bladder. Really? What do you think it is? She said, hmm, well, let's do an exam and see if you have a cyst on your ovary. My ovary!!!??? Isn't that down here... I pointed way lower than where it hurt. Turns out my nerves are feeling pain in a different place than it really is. Although it hurts by my ovary as well (as confirmed in the exam... wowsa that was some fun pain!) So, the good news is I know what it is... the bad news, they can't really do anything about cysts unless they get really big or twist around your ovary. Most just dissolve on their own, some clearly taking longer than others (as in my case)! Birth control can help prevent them, but that is why I am on birth control, and oh wait, I still have cysts!

The doctor and I also talked about my tiredness. She looked at my thyroid levels, and said she didn't think they were off enough to explain my extreme tiredness. Really? She said, maybe we should up your depression meds. She gave me a depression survey (required if you are going to receive a higher dosage) and I swear it could have been written based on my symptoms ....trouble doing things that used to be easy, challenged by everyday activities, move slower than you used to, extreme tiredness, etc. There was a lot more and I wish I had a copy, but I was shocked to know my depression could cause my lack of energy for life. Mainly because I am really happy with life right now besides being so FREAKIN' tired! So, we upped that as well. We doubled my dose which means I take two pills.

Now I have one of those grandpa pill cases.

It even has two sides (am and pm). I have my thyroid meds on one side, because I do not want to mess it up! I have my two depression pills, my allergy meds, birth control, and benadryl (to help me sleep) on the pm side. I take my antacid around 5 (just carry the bottle with me) and I take Calcium (since taking the antacid long term can deter your body from getting enough) and Vitamin B for energy (gotta get it where I can!) at lunch time. Few! Too many pills I know. I am hoping to go down in the depression meds when my thyroid levels are on track again. (Low thyroid levels can cause depression which may be why this sudden onset of tiredness happened all at once and why the depression meds have helped.) I would love to go off birth control but last time I did that my face went crazy! And I am already having some skin issues (luckily no pill for that, just some cream!) and I don't want to mess with it anymore. But, since the BC doesn't prevent cysts for me, why am I on it? (other than the skin thing, and it is CLEARLY not helping that right now!)

Anyways, I stopped working out when I thought the pain was my gall bladder. Two reasons: 1) It hurt! 2) I was scared it would rupture and I would have to go to the ER and since we switched insurance companies... I can't afford that! So, now that I have my clean bill of health, I am good to go on the working out. I want to start running. I got the below info through some blog stalking and I am going to try it!

Week 1

Session 1 (36 minutes):
Run 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 12 times.

Session 2 (27 minutes):
Run 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 9 times.

Session 3 (33 minutes):
Run 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 11 times.

Week 2

Session 1 (44 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 11 times.

Session 2 (30 minutes):
Run 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 10 times.

Session 3 (40 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 10 times.

Week 3

Session 1 (50 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 10 times.

Session 2 (36 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 9 times.

Session 3 (45 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 9 times.

Week 4

Session 1 (40 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 8 times.

Session 2 (28 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 7 times.

Session 3 (35 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Do this 7 times.

Week 5

Session 1 (40 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 10 times.

Session 2 (30 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 10 times.

Session 3 (36 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 9 times.

Week 6

Session 1 (48 minutes):
Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 8 times.

Session 2 (36 minutes):
Run 2 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 12 times.

Session 3 (40 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 10 times.

Week 7

Session 1 (55 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 5 times.

Session 2 (40 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 10 times.

Session 3 (48 minutes):
Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 8 times.
Week 8

Session 1 (44 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 4 times.

Session 2 (32 minutes):
Run 3 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 8 times.

Session 3 (42 minutes):
Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 7 times.

Week 9

Session 1 (58 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 20 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 10 minutes.

Session 2 (44 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 4 times.

Session 3 (48 minutes):
Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 3 times.

Week 10

Session 1 (61 minutes):
Run 30 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 30 minutes.

Session 2 (44 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 4 times.

Session 3 (47 minutes):
Run 20 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 10 minutes.

Week 11

Session 1 (61 minutes):
Run 40 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 20 minutes.

Session 2 (44 minutes):
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 4 times.

Session 3 (47 minutes):
Run 20 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 10 minutes.

Week 12
Session 1 (50 minutes)
Run 50 minutes.

Session 2 (33 minutes)
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 3 times.

Session 3 (47 minutes)
Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 15 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 10 minutes.

Week 13

Session 1 (40 minutes)
Run 40 minutes.

Session 2 (33 minutes)
Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 3 times.

Session 3
Event: See you at the finish line. Or run 60 minutes.

Wish me luck!!!

Somethin' to Blog About

It happened. I really really thought it would never happen. I am finally comfortable being single. I'm not just saying it or writing it to hope it's true. It is true. How did it happen? Well... I realized how embarrassed I am of my ex boyfriend. I won't say who it is, but let's just say he was sooooo not right for me. I like shopping, nice things, going out, wine, and he wanted to live in a car, shop at a thrift store and drink 40's. I was like, if any of my friends see him, they would be like, "What did you see in him?" Which got me to ask myself, "What did I see in him?"

Well, to answer that, I have to go back to where I was at the beginning of 2009. I had just had my heart BROKEN. I loved loved loved the guy I was with (although, to be honest he was not the best guy for me either, but I couldn't see that yet). I had dated him for a year and just thought he was IT. Until he dumped me, of course. I was devastated. And, thinking 25 was practically 80 decided I HAD to find someone to marry because I was getting so old. (I say this now realizing how ridiculous it sounds.) So, an old friend came back into my life and I convinced myself we would be together and it would be perfect.

It was not. It was awful with a couple moments of fun thrown in between. We were just soooo different. And because I was so desperate to not be single (as that was for sure the kiss of death), I kept him for fear of not being alone. Until, I couldn't go on pretending. And, then it was over. I dated this person for almost 8 months just to not be single.

I look back on it now, and am like, seriously???? Holly Madison said it best a few months ago with "I'd rather be single than with a douche." I agreed, but my actions before have proved differently. But, at this point in my life I would rather be single than just with someone. I honestly never thought this day would come. I so thought I would be married by this time in my life and I convinced myself that I had to find someone, instead of allowing the right person and me to find each other. Instead of just me latching on to someone so wrong for me. I never thought I'd be that girl.

So, it took a year and three months being single to get there, but I'm there. I am so happy with my life right now. I love the friends I have surrounded myself with. I love the freedom I have to live alone and start school again without having to worry about anyone but me. Which is perfect for right now. I am finishing up my last educational goals without having to worry about having to make time for anyone but my friends. I can't wait to start now. I finally finished all the financial aid crap and am all registered and ready to go. I swear they make it super difficult to test your dedication! :)

Well, that is all for now. Here's me and one of my girlfriends, Natalie having cocktails a couple weeks ago. Another fun perk of singleness, flirting with the cute server, who took this pic. :)

Visit with Liam and Shakira

My bestie just had a baby! He's so cute. And such a good baby! He only cries when he's hungry or has a dirty diaper. Shakira had the worst birth story I have heard so far! She had high blood pressure and for fear of preeclampsia they tried to enduce her a week early. It didn't work! She literally would not respond to the pitocin. So they sent her home after two days of trying.

A week later they went to enduce her again. She went in on Friday the 10th of February and didn't have Liam until the 14th! Enduction started the 10th... didn't progress much until they broke her water on the 14th. She pushed for 4 hours until they decided he wasn't in a good position and did a c-section. Okay, that is not the worst ever, but then she went home on Thursday after recovering from the c-section only to lose feeling in her arm and face on Saturday thinking she was having a stroke! So scary. It was just high blood pressure again from the preeclampsia, but still so scary. She spent the next two days in the hospital and now takes more pills than any human should have to (14 a day!) just to keep her blood pressure down.

So, the fact that he is finally going easy on her is well needed. But she and her husband could not be more in love with this little man. I love him too! He's so stinkin' cute! So glad he is finally here and so glad he got to be their Valentine's present.

What I Think...

I feel like all around me people are questioning religion or deciding what they do/do not like about their religion (or lack there of). I wanted to share what I think. I don't really like religion (gasp! Cue the lightning bolt) :) I really really believe that religion has squandered what Christ is really about. It causes arguments, uncomfortableness, and separation between those around us. This is nothing that Christ stood for. I once knew someone who didn't like going to church because he felt he was surrounded by hypocrites because he knew what people were doing outside of church. Hello, we are all sinners. No one is perfect or can live perfectly. If you read about how Christ spent his life he was surrounded by "losers", prostitutes, the down and out. And why? Because God wants us to want him. Those people knew how lost they were. And they knew they desperately needed someone to help them through this life.

So, back to religion. I believe loving and trusting in God is purely relational. I do not believe it matters what you do or how many weeks in a row you make it to church. For the record, I haven't been to church in over two months, but I feel closer to God now than I did a few months ago when I was attending church regularly. I really believe God wants to know me inside and out, and walk with me each day. Contrary to the many people I have met, I do not think I am too small for God to care about me. I had someone ask me once, "You really think God cares if you have a good day?" YES! I truly believe he loves me unconditionally and I am so thankful for that! It is what helps me get through the really shitty days. Yes, shitty. I don't play by the traditional rules of right and wrong. I know what I believe and what matters to me and I follow my own rules.

This brings me back to Religion. I want to encourage all of us, Christian, Catholic, Mormon, whatever you call yourself to stop looking at the differences of religion and start realizing the core values that are the same. Love God, serve others, love and guide the people we bring into this world to be good, Godly people. I think we are all more similar than we let on. It's almost as if we want to divide ourselves and play the "I'm right and you're not" game. If you can look at me and say I know my father in Heaven loves me and I love him, then there is nothing for me to argue with you about. It's actually pretty simple. And, since we realized that, why can't we all just leave it at that. Do I need to be convinced that I should really pray to the mother Mary, or that Joseph Smith brought us the restored gospel? No... because at the end of the day I know how much the father I love, loves you too.

Now, if you don't know this amazing God I speak of, well then we should talk. He's pretty amazing and I can't imagine my life without him. I will introduce you to him if you would like. You can also talk to him yourself. He likes to be called, Jesus or God. :) A lot of his stories can be found in the Bible...

Well, those are my thoughts on the subject. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Don't really know if too many people read this, but for those that do please know this comes from a pure place. I also don't think it matters if you are gay, straight, black, white, cat lover or dog lover, I think everyone can know and love the God that I know. But I'm sure I'll rial some feathers with that thought. :)