Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Change of Plans

So, I hate writing about this because the whole thing breaks my heart, but I need to get it out.  My boyfriend and I broke up.  There are so many factors involved, some too personal to mention here, some just same as everything else... we weren't ready.  That's the struggle with long distance.  One of you has to move and when it starts to happen are you ready?  To give up everything?  To change it all?  We weren't... so here I am...
I had it all planned out.  Move to Boise at the end of June and move in with him.  Now I don't know what to do.  Do I stay here?  Do I move anyways and move in with my parents temporarily and pay off some debt?  My school loans are going to come due soon and I have had a little too much fun with some plastic so that thought is appealing.  But, when it comes down to it, do I want to move to Boise?
I have some great friends there and know I would make more.  I have some great friends here. I like the weather in Boise.  I like the summers in Seattle.  I have a job here... I can probably get a job in Boise.  I am not paying off any debt here, just making minimum payments.  I could pay off debt there.  I live alone and love it... I'd live with the rents again temporarily... could I handle it?  Do I want to rent a room in my childhood home?  That feels like such a step backward and it's not just a pride issue, that may really start to depress me.  I have a good Dr. in Boise for my thyroid issues... I could probably find one here.  This is my life.  I go back and forth everyday.  Not to mention I lost my best friend who I used to talk to this all about.  (I hate that about a break up.)  I thought I had it all figured out... now I'm more confused than ever.  So, help!  Any feedback would be great.  I'm so torn, which really helps me realize I was moving just for a guy.  Which is fine, except that the what ifs were killing me.  And, had this happened when I was already there, I would be really upset.  But I digress... should I stay or should I go?????

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Stay!! I mostly want you to stay for selfish reasons, but if you stay I'll be your workout buddy and Dylan and I want to get serious about paying our debt (car loan, student loan) so we can be cheap together.