Ugh. That's all I have to say about this. I never really had skin issues growing up. In sixth grade I had a few pimples on my forehead so I grew out my bangs got some Clearasil and problem solved. Yes, I've had pimples here and there, but over the last couple years my skin has gone from occasional break out to straight up acne. And it is humiliating. Doesn't God know I'm trying to find a man here? I told my mom I was going to start courting (instead of dating - watch 19 Kids and Counting if you don't know about it). They don't kiss till their wedding day and have to keep a good distance away. I look fine with makeup on, but when you get up close you can see it, so my thought was if he waited to kiss me till the wedding day he'd be stuck and there would be no turning back when he saw the true me.
This is how crazy I have become. I have tried it all. Proactive, dermatologist crap, retin A, anything minus a pill you take because that scares me and I have had some friends have struggles with that. Currently, I am going to the esthetician monthly and getting facials and she gave me some products. This worked for my mom's friend, and I am hoping it works for me. I am still waiting, but hoping it is like working out and results aren't overnight. I've been taking pictures to see if there is a difference.
So, why does this matter. I know it is superficial to want clear skin, but I still want it. All this confidence I had in myself is dwindling. I have a job where I am meeting with CFO's and Controllers and I feel like I look 13 all over again. Which we all know was a super fun year.
I really have no resolution with this blog post which is why I hadn't posted it yet. I wanted to say, it took a few months, but it's all clear! I know it's hereditary, and I believe it will clear up, but this interim stage of that's my face?? Really?? Gross... is not the best place to be. It is helping me to be more understanding of others and their flaws and imperfections. Because trust me I wash my face and take good care of myself, but I feel like I look very "unclean" right now. :( I guess this is just life... or something like it. :) Haha how's that for an ending? :)
Sunday, October 20, 2013
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