Update

First and foremost - thank you to everyone who reached out to me about my last post.  I am so blessed to have such amazing people around me, and I am so grateful for you all!  Anna - your blog inspires me often.  I love that you are real and I thank you for showing me it's okay to speak your truth even when it's not pretty.  Rachel - thanks for your message and I know you can relate.  Having people who understand where you are coming from makes me feel less alone.  And, you are my hope that online dating is not in vain! :) Natalie - thank you for always being there for me - even when you have a lot going on in your world as well!  You are a great friend, and I thank you for being you! :)  Annie - I have never felt so lucky to call someone my friend as I do with you!  You say you feel like you are not always kind, but I have never met anyone who is able to be so nice and see the best in everyone around them.  For a girl who decides whether or not I like someone quickly, this is a trait I admire and envy.  Thank you for being my friend through all these years - I am so lucky to have you!  (Sidenote - super excited about Lady A next month!)

I am doing much better, and have done a lot of soul searching this week.  I am reading a new book about Ruth (from the bible - if you don't know her story - check it out, she's pretty amazing).  This book talks about all the suffering that happened in her life and her mother's life, and it fits in with what I am dealing with (actually, it puts things in perspective as well - this women was barren and then her husband died, leaving her basically alone in a patriarchal society - so far that's not my life! :)  I also learned how important it is to share.  When I spoke to a couple coworkers and they said they understood it was a weight lifted off my shoulders.  Then messages poured in again saying - you aren't alone!  Sometimes, that's all it takes to remember - wait I'm not alone!  I also started to think of ways I can get out of the house, make some new friends, and in general just keep myself around people instead of bottled up inside!

The best part is that I talked to my mom about this.  I try to hide a lot of the "bad stuff" from my mom.  I don't know why I do that, but I think it is from habit.  I didn't do that this time and I am glad I got to talk to her.  I am so grateful for my mother.  I did not appreciate her as I should have during my teenage years, but I am so glad we are close now.  Plus, she's a blast - so chatting with her almost always makes things better! :)
All this to say - thank you!  My family, my friend's, fellow bloggers, you all rock and I am so thankful for you!